Illustration generated using Midjourney

You probably know who I am! I’m your next-door neighbor colleague. Spiderman? Nah, just a humble 9–5 worker trying to find the balance between hybrid work and life in this post-COVID-metaverse-crypto-ai-visionpro era.

As a loyal employee, I’ve mastered the art of nodding enthusiastically during every meeting, secretly wondering if my webcam could detect eye rolls on Zoom calls. I remember the time when, during a particularly challenging project, I stayed up late into the night fixing deployments, fueled by nothing but coffee and sheer dedication. The victory felt personal, and I always looked forward to the quarterly bonus for those KPIs.

Just last week, we received our CEO’s emails about bonus delays (thanks, recession?), and, like a devotee, I swallowed the CEO’s promises fully. Yes, my CEO has unparalleled honesty and transparency.

So, despite the uncertainty my colleagues were drowning in, I rallied them to stand united behind our CEO and the executive staff. We must protect our overlords, for they are the showrunners. So, no job-hunting for me, not even if it pays slightly better. And I staunchly advocated against job-hunting to my fellow mates as well. Loyalty to the company and its executive overlords is my life’s purpose.

Weeks passed, and while we received no insurance checks, to keep my transparency hopes alive, there were plenty of assurances overflowing in our inboxes! And some big pie, donut presents….ummm… presentations (charts?) to show the revenue and growth trajectories are on upward trends. And buzzwords! The pie charts didn’t feed anyone, but they surely filled my heart with hope, and maybe indigestion.

I continued functioning like a cog in the machine, motivating my colleagues to endure!! Revolting against our benevolent overlords? Out of the question!

Weeks elapsed, and poof, the communications ceased. But why? Was our dear CEO abducted by VCs? I, the loyal employee, began bombarding them with personal nudges, urging for clarity on invoice processing. After all, in a company built on transparency and honesty, it seemed only fair to express my concerns. The silence persisted, prompting me to escalate my inquiries, and in frustration, I even resorted to issuing some legal jests. Alas, no response.

A few weeks later…

The company’s email domain got revoked. Now, I’m WhatsApping my CEO in a state of angst, anger, and outbursts, while my co-workers, whom I insisted on staying loyal to the CEO, have gone mute. I plead with them to rise in rebellion against our CEO, but they remain silent. Are they foolish? Couldn’t they see that the CEO only prioritizes themselves and the people above them?

A few weeks later…

I burn bridges with the CEO and stop talking to my colleagues, while my colleagues continue to navigate the startup’s future through unpaid working hours!

A few months later:

Just when I thought the CEO’s disappearance was the climax of this corporate drama, a giant holographic image of them appeared on my colleagues’ Zoom, urging them to be laser-focused as they brainstorm new startup ideas, raise capital, and plan to get acquired. Meanwhile, here I am, figuring out yet another loyalty tug-of-war at my next startup job. Perhaps this time, I’ll indulge in a bit of job-hopping, because who needs loyalty when you already have a front-row seat to the entrepreneurial wisdom?